About Me

Hi! Welcome to Restart. I'm Brenda and I live in The South. I'm just a lady that loves her family and sharing my life.That life has made a major change after 29 years of being wife and Nana. Now I live for me. I have dreams that I had let die and today I must live them. God has blessed me with a second chance at life and I desire to live it to the fullest.I am into eating healthy,exercise,running,hiking and bike riding. If it means staying in shape and feeling good I am all for it ....other things I enjoy or cooking, decorating,thrifting,travel and walking where history took place.


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

I sleep with God...

This morning as I sit here I have to give praise where praise is due! I am so thankful to God for two full nights of sleep with NOTHING. This may seem small to many however if you have ever laid awake and cried because sleep wouldn't come you can understand.
My problem with this really started after my husband left. So many nights I fought the fear of feeling alone. It seemed that my brain would never be still and the devil sure knew where to hit me. I started out going to the doctor right after my separation and getting on medication. I hated the feeling of waking up feeling drugged. I never stopped praying yet I was still trusting man. Each new trial brought sleepless nights even though I pushed on. It was when my insurance stopped and I was left with no way to go to the doctor or money to pay that the fear really kicked in. Sometimes we don't realize just how bad things are and hate to admit it. I must say I praise God that he kept me and I have never been addicted to pills..that is drugs I mean. It would have been so easy if not for the strength God blessed me with!
All though I praise God for this the other day I had to face I had allowed something to control me. After my insurance was dropped I started taking Tynol P.M. I knew it wasn't good for me,but just the thought of having nothing scared me. I guess at first it helped however the body gets used to it. What do we do when this happens? We take more or add something to it. Even though the Tylenol stopped working I still continued to take it. I guess it gave me a sense of peace..crazy how we trust junk for that. After lots of nights of no sleep and fear I started to add Dramamine and sometimes cough syrup.It all depended on how bad I needed sleep.All during this time I never realized that even though we get this over the counter and so cheap it is still something you depend on! I like to call it a crutch.I have never been one that liked anything to control me.
It wasn't until last Sunday at church I was talking to my one of my pastors and she ask me was I okay. As we started to talk I said yes Im really doing great. I am allowing God to build and polish me. Trusting him to get me where he desires I be. I then started to tell her that the one thing I hated was my lack of sleep and the Tylenol I took because it was bad for me.We then got into a conversation of just how much do we trust God? We pray and ask for something yet we depend on our crutch. Can we really have faith in him when we can't let go of something that controls us?
Sunday night I made up my mind that no matter what I was going to "Sleep with God" I was going to pray and give it all to him. I wasn't going to give him alittle of it while holding on to something I depended on. Oh yes the devil did try and bring fear...fear that id lay there and no sleep would come. Praise GOD the devil is a liar and the truth is not in him. That night as I started to feel sleepy I shut down everything. That means the TV,internet,FB,instagram and even my phone! I have realized that so much gets my mind going and this is what I needed to do. I fell asleep praying only to wake up and realize I got a full nights sleep! Night two rolls around and I do the same thing..I got this right? WRONG. Just as I started to doze my dog jumped up and went to the door going crazy in a way I have never seen her.I heard my door moving and fear started to fill my body. I could feel the tightening in my chest. Even though my mind said FEAR my spirit said pray. I got up went to the door to check it all while praying for my safety. Crawled back in bed and something said "Oh you better take some Tynol you will never sleep" Yea right devil not this time!!! "I sleep with God" the best partner one could ask for. Today I praise him for two nights sleep depending on nothing,but his peace.

1 comment:

  1. Praise God! Praise God! Praise God! I praise Him for giving you peace so you can sleep and for protection while you sleep. Thanks for sharing!