About Me

Hi! Welcome to Restart. I'm Brenda and I live in The South. I'm just a lady that loves her family and sharing my life.That life has made a major change after 29 years of being wife and Nana. Now I live for me. I have dreams that I had let die and today I must live them. God has blessed me with a second chance at life and I desire to live it to the fullest.I am into eating healthy,exercise,running,hiking and bike riding. If it means staying in shape and feeling good I am all for it ....other things I enjoy or cooking, decorating,thrifting,travel and walking where history took place.


Friday, February 14, 2014

Looking for real LOVE...

Do you ever set around and think about what real love would be like? With Valentines Day coming tomorrow I have been setting around tonight listening to music.... yep those good old LOVE songs. Since being single for close to four years I have had lots of time to ponder on what real LOVE would be like. The kind of LOVE that last forever..that never gives up. I think that is something that is hard to find this day in time. We live in such a world that is so fast paced,selfish and wants it know. It seems that there is no desire to work or fight for anything. We want something for nothing.
In my four years of dating off and on I have discovered many things that I don't want. Maybe I have my sights set high,but that's okay. I want real and everlasting LOVE the kind that Jesus talks about.
That brings me to what has really been on my mind. I ask so many people.. what is love? I have gotten many answers...A person you can't live without...the person that makes you warm all inside...the person that will always be there for you. I think we all desire those things,but I believe with all my heart that the only real LOVE is Christ love. A love of great sacrifice and pain.I don't think the greatest picture of LOVE was a warm fuzzy feeling at all. The LOVE that Jesus had on the cross was painful. He loved us so much that he was willing to give and sacrifice his life for us.I can say for sure I haven't met anyone that was willing to work hard on a relationship must less lay down his life.
I believe something else we can base what real LOVE is about is in 1 Corinthians 13. This scripture tells us just what LOVE is.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I know this is a hard scale to measure by,but if I lined most of my past dates up and ask these questions that would explain why im sitting here tonight alone. I do think it is possible to have this kind of LOVE
and that is what im looking for.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Learning to LOVE yourself.....

Take time to treat yourself to a healthy meal...

Yes this is my breakfast. I love eating on beautiful dishes.I do this on a daily basis and not just special occasions.

You don't have to be rich to find cute little glasses to make your desserts...Go thrifting


this is sure something I don't have a problem with!! Was it always this way you may ask...... not at all. Even though I have always been proud of who I was as a person I didn't know how to love ME. I spent my whole life loving and caring for others. All that ever mattered to me was making others happy. The problem with this was many times I never got the same in return. What happens after years of this is one day you wake up and feel unloved and insecure as a person. This is just what happened in my life and marriage.It wasn't until my husband walked out the door that I took a look in the mirror and ask the question "Who are you"
At this point in my life I looked deep into my heart  and realized I am a special lady with a big heart. Oh I didn't feel it because of the damage and ugly words that came from the divorce,but I knew. I remembered who and what type person I had been during my life.
It was at this point that I decided to LOVE me! To put myself first in line sometimes and treat myself to the life I deserved.

(So many people today ask the question do you really treat yourself this way or is it for photos? My answer is yes I do..if you don't who will)

It wasn't something that happened over night,but each step I took felt better and better.As things started to feel better I started to feel better as a person. I stopped listening to the negative words spoke over me and listened to who God said I am. Another thing I discovered at this point is that you must love yourself for others to love you.
It may not be that you have went through a divorce that has caused you to see yourself this way or not be able to love you. There are many things in life that cause us to feel this way. It maybe that you feel abandoned by a parent that you didn't have,maybe your were molested or raped,maybe you were raised by a parent that cussed you and called you names. I am here to tell you that none of this matters because you were fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14

New International Version (NIV)
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,I know that full well.

This is not my words,but Gods and he is the one that chose you
When you start to see yourself as he sees you this will become easier.
Learn to love YOU!!!!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

One step at a time....to the place we should be

It has been sometime since I posted so first and foremost forgive me and second thanks for coming back.
Allow me to share where I have been and what has been happening in my life. If you have been a follower of my path in life you know I lived in Mississippi after my divorce of 29 years. You also know that I have walked through some hard times,but with Gods help and strength I have overcome. Each day and each step we take is a journey that leads us where we are today.
Since my divorce I had lived in our family home where I had been over 15 years. Due to the court the home was put up for sale and in December a few days before Christmas we closed on it. If the holidays aren't stressful enough this added more burden to my life. Since I was 17 years old I never had to worry where I would lay my head at night,but at the age of 49 this was all about to change. For the first time in my life I was about to make decisions that were very scary to me.Not only did I have to decide where I would live,but pack up the last 29 years of my life and take another step. It is a horrible feeling to know everything you own  and have given your life for can fit in a storage unit.
I was sitting there the last of Nov. still not sure of my next step,but knowing I had to take it. I was working day and night packing and boxing a two story house pretty much alone.Worn,but not defeated I could only trust God as to what would happen next. With many prayers and tears shed I pushed forward.It seemed after awhile no answer would come. I thought long and hard..maybe I will leave it in storage and travel...maybe I will go to NJ with my son...maybe I will move to North Carolina where a friend is. Each day I searched and prayed. The one thing I didn't desire to do and said I never would is move back to a small town where I was born. One evening as I was sitting in my bed it all came to me as if God was laying out a map for me or was it God because it was just what I didn't wanna do. I knew in my heart it was God and I had to do it no matter what my desires. It was on that evening that I made a step that I hated to take. I called my sister and told her I needed a place close to dad that Gods desire was for me to come home.
So many times in life we focus on ourselves when we need to focus on others. God started to share with me the importance of spending these special years with my dad. My dad had given his life for me and now it was his turn. Not only for my dad,but others in this area that needed me.
So with much fear I started to contact friends and family to help me look for a house. Please understand when I say fear it is because the first time in my life I would have my first place and do things alone I never felt I could. I look back now and see just how God works...A long time friend told me about the house in Springhill. Great I'll be near dad,but still have my own space. That day I contacted a lady about the home. When she answered the phone that day Im sure we neither one knew God had set it up. After a long chat I found out I knew her father and grew up a few houses down from him. Not only did I know him I played at his house so many days.The next step I was about to take was made much easier just in knowing this.
With each small step from the time my house had an offer on it until now are the steps that brought me where I am today.The steps were not easy and at times I felt blind and alone,but I never was.I can not say what my next step in my journey will be,but I know with God as my leader I will get there.
 If I can share anything with you today it would be 1) God is in control even when we don't see it 2) You may not see the end to the path your are own,but if you take the steps it will lead you there 3) When you feel weak and afraid PUSH on