My Father is a KING...

How many of you out there feel like you are getting the rewards of being a child of a KING? I dare say very few. One reason for this is because we spend more time keeping our eyes on the trouble,the pain that this life causes instead of the promises God has given us.,,,,
This week I have finally grasp a hold of the fact "Im Gods Girl" my daddy loves me and desires the best for me. My daddy is not happy when I hurt and trouble comes my way .If we see in the word(our road map) there are so many promises he has already provided for his children. The problem is US...we either have never learned who we are in Christ are we don't claim it.
As a parent you can make deposits in the bank and set up preparation for your children but unless they know about it they can't cash in on it. They may struggle when the thing they need is setting there waiting for them the whole time. That is just how it is with our Father. All of the things he has already deposited into our bank and prepared for us set and wait on us to cash in on.There maybe many reasons why we haven't done this,but until we do we can't apply this to our life.
I know this because I speak to myself here. Each and every day I have a struggle with this. The hardships and hurts just seem to be accepted. I have walked many days listening and excepting what the world and others say and cause in my life instead of claiming what my Father says.
The past few months and years I have endured some heartache as I am sure we all have. Today I am happy to say in these things I have learned some great lessons and try my best to apply them to my life. This is something I must do each day because the enemy would sure rather me focus on him.He will do anything he can to keep us from realizing who we really are. When you stand in front of the mirror what do you really see? I would just about bet that you see defeat,pain,what you wished you were instead of who you really are.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us that power of life and death are in the tongue...we speak to our life one or the other. Lets just take a minute to see what Im talking about here because this is something we do everyday. How many of us has spoke in a sad and lonely state of mind "No ones cares about me and what im feeling" well that is not true. 1 Peter says"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Psalms tells us "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Do you see where I am going with this? 
How about" Im just not gonna make it this month" Psalms tells us "The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need." Mathew tells us" Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?"
Are you catching on yet? I sure hope so because when you look in the mirror of his word and realize who you really are,that your "Father is a King" and has deposited any and everything we need in his bank your life can change!! I for one know I desire to see myself as "Gods Girl" and to know whoever and whatever happens to me they have to answer to my daddy.To know that he loves me and deposited into my account anything I need to live.
Today I ask you..Who is your your Father?

Lets keep it real....

I title this blog "Lets keep it real" comes because that is all I know. Yes keeping it real can be hard and gets me in trouble sometimes however real is better than fake. It is better than pretending.
As I sat here last night with the weather getting cold and the holidays approaching I can't help but have some feeling of sadness. I know I try hard to keep a smile on my face for everyone to see yet I have moments where I have to be real with myself and God. I lie here last night watching Christmas movies,snuggled up in my warm bed and pinning recipes on Pinterest. "OH I love that site" however it causes my heart the hurt sometimes.
If you know me very well you know I love the holidays and decorating. I love cooking and making a home and I love family. The movie I was watching had a young woman that had been dating a man for five years. She yearned so bad to have a life with him however he was to busy and wouldn't commit.I can understand just what she was feeling because it seems this day in time committing and doing what it takes to have love isn't important.She found herself starting to question her own worth. Not because she wasn't an amazing woman,but because the man she desired made her feel that way.Sometimes no matter how hard you work to be perfect for someone else and do your best you still find yourself alone.The amazing thing is she didn't stop being her self. She continued to reach out and share love with others.At a moment she least expected a friend and coworker came into her life. A stranger that she really never paid attention to because she was focused on the life she desired. It was this man that seen her heart and the beauty of who she was.When she finally let go of what she held onto her life changed.
After the movie was over and it was time to go to sleep "with my fur babies" I started to think. I thought of how I didn't really have my desire to decorate this year. I thought of all the sweet couples and families strolling together. I thought of the couples shopping and sharing dinners with one another on a cold night with a fire flickering in the back ground."Yes I'm a romantic..what can I say" And then I thought about myself. Another holiday alone and how much I miss having someone to share my love with.
As I lay in bed ready to pray I start my prayer. The prayer of thanks and praying for others. It was at that moment a thought comes to me "Keep it real" see so many times we go to God with our regular prayer as if he can't see our heart.We try to hold it all together when he knows our sadness. Sometimes we feel guilty and we stay strong when all alone he sees. It was then that I decided to "Keep it real" with God. I talked to him like a friend. I shared with him my desires,my hurts and how the holidays really make me feel. God doesn't want us to hide from him. He wants to be our best friend and someone we can open up to someone we share our heart with because he already knows it.
So today whatever you are feeling and whatever you are dealing with take it to God.Open up and speak to him as if he is setting right beside you.And most important don't go through the motions "Keep it real"

Making my list and checking it twice...

           Making my list and checking it twice..and it isn't Christmas

If it is your first time to my blog welcome. Let me go back and catch you up and then we will move on. The name "Brenda's Restart" came after I had to pick up the pieces of my life and move on after a 29 year marriage. Yeah it is crazy to restart a life at my age however you have to deal with the hand your dealt and make the best of it. At first I didn't see how that was possible,but with the love of family, friends, and GOD I found the strength to move forward. In the last four and a half years I found who Brenda is. I have reached down deep and searched my soul and heart. I have healed, had my heart broken by many jerks, and got up and healed again. Each time there were lessons to be learned and strength gained.
In the last month I have spent lots of time with God. Oh I never left Him and He never left me,but I did allow somethings to come before Him. Life just can't run right if He isn't in the lead position. No matter how much we give and try to make others happy they must come under God. When we find ourselves making something else priority it becomes an idol. All we can think about is doing whatever it takes to be happy, but in return is God happy? God has a purpose and plan for our lives and for this to ever be in order we must die to self . I don't think this means giving up who we are and the desires of our heart, because as long as those line up with God He is the one that gives us desires.
After my husband left and I was going through the healing process one of the Christian counselors I was seeing gave me some advice. The advice was keeping a journal with my hearts feelings and to date it. From time to time I would go back and look at it and see how far I had come. This takes me to the title of this blog " Making my list and checking it twice" years ago when I was writing in my journal I made of list of things I desired and didn't desire for my life. Oh I know and realize not everything can be perfect and we have to give some, however we must not allow our giving in to change us.
Last week I got to spend some amazing time with God by the beach. It was at this time I was reminded of my list. So with Bible and journal in hand I started to make my list again. To search my heart and find me again. This time with great hope that I go back from time to time and look at it and never let go of the hope and desires I have. I don't mind sharing this list so here we go....

Things I desire.
 1) My deepest desire is for God to be first in my life and serve him in the calling he has for me.
 2) A God led man. One that will be the head and allow God to be his head.
 3) A man that will pray with me,for me and bless me
 4) A man that believes the steps and order of God in a relationship. God,Spouse,Family
 5) I desire a true lives love story. A love so strong that others watch and have a desire for a Godly love that doesn't change with the ups and downs.
 6) I desire a place that I can make a home. ( where ever God desires that to be) A home that when others come in they feel the love and peace.
 7) To share this home with a man that will allow me to be the woman God has called me to be. Someone that can appreciate my love through doing the things I love.
 8) To have and support my partner in his calling.
 9) I would love to travel and makes beautiful memories.
10) I desire someone that will communicate and share like a best friend 9) A fitness partner so we can be healthy and share the second part of our life.
11) A coffee buddy...sweat times snuggling early in the morning together,times by the fire,sitting on the porch and coffee shops.
12) Someone that will except and love my children and grands as I will his.
13) Someone that will not leave me and always desire to do separate things ( If I want to have a life alone id stay single)
14) A love so strong that when the other walks away you feel part of you is missing.
15) Romance, never losing the honeymoon feeling.
16) We can share nice dinners or just enjoy a simple picnic. ( it is all about the time together)
17) Someone that can spend a simple day being cozy, a day of rest watching TV (football =)
18) I desire the love making in my life to be as God ordained, to allow the depth of two becoming one, not just going through the motions.

Things I do not want.
1) Selfish ( all about me and not we)
2) Prideful and arrogant
3) Makes me feel stupid and unimportant
4) Someone that doesn't seek God for direction
5) Lazy couch potato with no desire for life.
6) Someone that puts others before me
7) Someone who confides in other women.
8) Someone who cheats and thinks that porn and looking and desiring other women is normal.
9) Someone who lies and says things they don't mean. (actions speak louder than words)
10) A heavy drinker
11) Someone that allows technology to steal precious family time.
12) Someone that compares me to or expects me to be like an ex or someone they formed an image of.
13) Someone that doesn't care about my feelings and the pain I'm feeling.
14) Someone that doesn't care when I try to express my heart and feelings.
15) Someone that withdraws, sulks, and does not share their feeling and talk things out when something is bothering him. Pushing things down and not talking only makes things worse.

"For I know the plans I have for you, 'Declare The Lord,' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."- Jeremiah 29:11

Realizing when darkness comes...

Do you remember when we were small children and we would be outside playing so hard....the moment you looked up and said "Oh my it is getting dark" and we take off running for home as fast as we can. It wasn't that you really meant to do anything you just got caught up in the moment.
That is just how life can be. We wonder out in the world running here and there and something happens that causes us to stop,look around and realize it is getting dark. The question now is where do you run? Do we run back home where we know we are safe and loved or do we wonder out further into the darkness? Just like when we were children it sometimes isn't something we mean to do. We get caught up in our fast paced life.Something that looks fun and exciting and we venture out.
We can't do both. When this happens we have a choice and that choice is going back to light,wondering out further or just standing there in the same spot and going no where.
This is just how it works with God. God is the light and he is our safety. He will allow you to go out and play,venture into things however at some point we must stop and look around. Stop and ask ourselves do we desire to run back to him,go further out away from the light or just stand there going no where.

                      1 John 1:5New International Version (NIV)

Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness

5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

Building something that last...

Building something that last takes time and effort. Have you ever been building or putting something together in a hurry only to finish and realize it was shaky and didn't hold up?
This same thing happens in life. I have been listening to some sermons by Kerry Shock that have opened my eyes to a deeper understanding.
After my 29 year marriage then divorce four years ago I felt devastated.I looked back and wondered how can something that made it so long fall apart? It happens the same way that building something on a shaky foundation falls apart. I spent many hours in prayer and tears pouring out my heart with God. As I look back now I see many things that were wrong. First of all it doesn't matter how many beautiful children you have,if you have a mansion to live in or the best job out there if the foundation isn't built strong it will fall apart. The first year after my marriage I started my family and for all the years to come I poured my heart and soul into them .I wanted to be the best mommy and raise healthy and happy children .He was climbing the ladder to success and pouring himself into the job.I was building three strong and beautiful children an he was building a career all while the foundation was crumbling apart.We were going through the days busy and sidetracked on what is most important. What do you really have when all of these things fall apart because you didn't take the time for one another? The time to discuss,share and fix things as they come along. When it all falls apart you have hurt and devastation that then that reaches out to the children an grandchildren.Generations of pain. I know today I still see the pain it has caused to my children. The one thing I worked so hard to build and turned my attention to still have to suffer.
In the past years after divorce I spent much time building me.I read and listen to all that I can on what God desires me to be as a woman.What my roll is on being a strong foundation for the next chapter in my life. It doesn't matter if your mate is strong and has things right and you are weak and crumbling one can not hold up for the other.It takes two strong bricks with the right mortar to start a wall and this must be placed on a strong foundation not built by man.
I never desire to go through or feel the pain of divorce again. I never desire to bring two families together with children that have already been devastated only to hurt them more.My one and only desire is to be happy and have a Godly love built on a strong foundation so I can share that with the world. A world that has lost the art and desire to stand strong. I know the sweet little old couples we see that made it all the years together are not still standing because they gave up. They are still together because each storm that came they fought together and it made them stronger.
My prayer today is that we take back the foundations in our lives and do what it takes to make them strong.That we stop allowing the world to conform us and allow God to build us.That we can build strong people then strong couples so this world can have insight on the way things should be.

Knowing our hearts desire...

Today has been a very different day in my life. I woke up this morning reading so many post about marriage,relationships and divorce. It has really burdened my heart to see how we have lost what and how God designed us. I don't understand if all the failure comes from not putting God first or if we have gotten so numb to the roll we are given.
I am a product of a failed marriage and divorce. That maybe the reason the burden is so strong because I hate to see the enemy win. My divorce as many do came from a spouse that made a choice and I had to deal with it. Marriage takes two strong people working together and having the same desire. After my divorce as God helped me to over come and gain knowledge I realized the desire I had a young girl never changed. Being raised in a home where the love between my parents was so strong I learned what God meant when he gave us a map. The only way a marriage can and will work is if we take that map and follow it. Giving up should not be a choice we take lightly. Maybe because we live in a fast paced life where we want it and get it know people take that to a relationship.
I am so thankful each day for the parents I had and the devotion they had. I watched my mom live on dialysis for ten years. Did my dad ever give up on her when it got rough? No he took a vow and he took care of my mom until she passed away. A perfect picture of what God means when he says becoming one.
I ask God many times after my divorce why? All I ever desired was a beautiful,happy family. God showed me that even though he has designed the marriage union he allows man to make choices. It was also at this moment that I was reminded of what the enemy means for bad God will use to his good. In the four years following my divorce I have learned alot. I know it is Gods will that I use my testimony and knowledge to help others. I in know way consider myself perfect,but I am very willing and I know where my burden is.
Has my desire changed from the young innocent girl in the photo ..not one bit. I still and always will believe in God and his plan for woman and man. I will always strive to be as virtuous as I can be and to do my part.
I believe if we search out what God tells us is our role and give it our best marriage and relations can only grow.I am including a few scriptures and words that I think I need to share. I would also recommend if you your marriage is going through difficult times books by Stormy Omartian "Power of a praying wife and Power of a praying husband.
Women...Be a helper to your husband.  While all of us are called to be helpers to others, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives. Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn't good for man to be alone, and that He decided to make a "helper suitable for him" (Gen. 2:18). It is interesting to note that the Hebrew meaning of the word helper in this passage is found hereafter in the Bible to refer only to God as He helps us. The fact that this same word is applied to a wife signifies that we women have been given tremendous power for good in our husbands' lives. God has designed wives to help their husbands become all that God intends for them to be.
 Respect your husband. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul says, " … the wife must respect her husband." When you respect your husband you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him. It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values.
Men.... Be a leader. The Scriptures provide a clear organizational structure for a marriage. Following are a couple of typical Scriptures:

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ

(1 Corinthians 11:3). Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body

 Love your wife unconditionally. Ephesians 5:25 reads, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." Your unconditional acceptance of your wife is not based upon her performance, but on her worth as God's gift to you. If you want to love your wife unconditionally, always be sure her emotional tank is full. One of the best ways to do that is to affirm her constantly. Let her know verbally that you value her, respect her, and love her. I have discovered that I simply cannot do that enough.There is no question that words communicate love, but so do actions. You need to do both. As the Apostle John wrote in one of his letters: "let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:18). One of the missing ingredients in male leadership in homes is sacrificial action. When was the last time you gave up something for your wife—something you genuinely valued, like your golf game, a fishing trip, or your hobby? Sometimes you need to give up something you enjoy so your wife can have a break and see your love for her.

Serve your wife. According to the New Testament, being head of your wife does not mean being her master, but her servant. Again, Christ is our model for this type of leadership. Jesus did not just talk about serving; He demonstrated it when he washed His disciples' feet (John 13:1-17). Christ, the Head of the Church, took on the very nature of a servant when He was made in human likeness (Philippians 2:7).

One of the best ways to serve your wife is to understand her needs and try to meet them. Do you know what your wife's top three needs are right now? If she is a young mother, she has a certain set of basic needs. If your children are grown and gone and you are in the empty nest, your wife has a different set of needs that you should try to meet. What is she worried about? What troubles her? What type of pressure does she feel? Learn the answers to questions like that, and then do what you can to reduce her worries, her troubles, her pressures.

Life is like a garden....

    First off let me apologize to my readers for taking off so long. I took a much needed break and vacation.

Life is like a garden....

I was sitting here this morning having my coffee and I started to think about this. I say think about it,but that is one way God shares with me. During the day I couldn't get it off my mind and that usually means it is time to write.

What are some very important things about a garden? A few that come to my mind are the soil, the water, what type seeds we plant, fertilizer, grass, sunlight,pest. 

You can take two exact plots of soil close together and have two different people plant the same exact seed and the garden will not be the same.

Think about your life for a minute. What type soil are you planting in? Is it rich, does it have the nutrients it needs, do you cultivate it like you should? Or is it dry, hard and lacking any nutrients to help it grow? It all comes down to this if we are not sewing in rich soil you can take the most expensive seeds and they will end up doing nothing.

Now consider the water for a moment...what if we have beautiful rows of soil and the garden has started to produce and is doing great,but we get no rain. What starts to happen? What was once beautiful and producing dries up.  We get a water hose,but it will only reach a few rows of the garden...now what? The rows that are receiving water will be pretty while the others wither and die.

What about the seeds...If you have had the same old seeds in a bag for years and then you had the same seed that you just ran down to the store and bought fresh. Which seed do you think will produce the best product? I would say the new fresh seed the one that new.

What about fertilizer? Anyone that has ever had a garden or planted flowers understands how important it is to have good fertilizer. Each plant needs to be fed. Consider the idea of two rows of corn. One you decide to add fertilizer and the other you don't. The one that has been fed will grow faster,prettier and produce much better than the one that is lacking.

Sunlight...this is a very important part of how a garden will grow. There are some plants that grow better when they get lots of heat and sunlight. It reminds me of the peas we have planted. They love the hot sunlight. I went out in the garden the other morning and our peas where starting to get tiny pods. I missed going for a few days due to the hot, humid days and the next time I looked we had peas.

The last thing I think about is the pest. There is nothing that upsets me more than to have a beautiful green plant and find the bugs have eaten it up or to open a ear of corn and find a nasty worm inside living off my corn.

Each one of us when we are born are like a beautiful garden. We are made and designed with much work and a plan to produce wonderful things.

As we start to mature in life there are many things that come to destroy us.

Somethings that happen in our life we can not change,but many we can. No matter the hurt,pain and storms that come our way we must decide to thrive.

Just like the garden we have to be sure our soil is rich and full of life. Add the fertilizer so we can grow to become what we have been called to become. Make sure the seeds we plant into our life are fresh. Make sure that if we desire something we plant the right seed to produce that. You can't plant a corn seed if you desire to grow a melon.In life if we plant bad seed we will get bad fruit.

We must be very careful that the things in life that come to over take and choke back the life are plucked out. It only takes a moment to be thriving when something can come into your life . It can grow up around you so fast that you can't see it is choking the life from you until it is to late. Pluck out the things that steal your life.

Then we must be sure the to add light. There is no life in darkness. There is so much darkness in the world around us.We have to decide what and who we allow in our life. Do they or the things we partake in bring light?

And last but sure not least are the pest. We have an enemy he he desire nothing more than to destroy us. To eat us alive leaving holes in our life that cause us to wither and die.

How is your garden growing? Is it hard,dry and empty or lush,green and thriving? Is it producing what you desire or is it on the verge of death?

Today you can decide and change somethings in this garden we call life.