As I sat here last night with the weather getting cold and the holidays approaching I can't help but have some feeling of sadness. I know I try hard to keep a smile on my face for everyone to see yet I have moments where I have to be real with myself and God. I lie here last night watching Christmas movies,snuggled up in my warm bed and pinning recipes on Pinterest. "OH I love that site" however it causes my heart the hurt sometimes.
If you know me very well you know I love the holidays and decorating. I love cooking and making a home and I love family. The movie I was watching had a young woman that had been dating a man for five years. She yearned so bad to have a life with him however he was to busy and wouldn't commit.I can understand just what she was feeling because it seems this day in time committing and doing what it takes to have love isn't important.She found herself starting to question her own worth. Not because she wasn't an amazing woman,but because the man she desired made her feel that way.Sometimes no matter how hard you work to be perfect for someone else and do your best you still find yourself alone.The amazing thing is she didn't stop being her self. She continued to reach out and share love with others.At a moment she least expected a friend and coworker came into her life. A stranger that she really never paid attention to because she was focused on the life she desired. It was this man that seen her heart and the beauty of who she was.When she finally let go of what she held onto her life changed.
After the movie was over and it was time to go to sleep "with my fur babies" I started to think. I thought of how I didn't really have my desire to decorate this year. I thought of all the sweet couples and families strolling together. I thought of the couples shopping and sharing dinners with one another on a cold night with a fire flickering in the back ground."Yes I'm a romantic..what can I say" And then I thought about myself. Another holiday alone and how much I miss having someone to share my love with.
As I lay in bed ready to pray I start my prayer. The prayer of thanks and praying for others. It was at that moment a thought comes to me "Keep it real" see so many times we go to God with our regular prayer as if he can't see our heart.We try to hold it all together when he knows our sadness. Sometimes we feel guilty and we stay strong when all alone he sees. It was then that I decided to "Keep it real" with God. I talked to him like a friend. I shared with him my desires,my hurts and how the holidays really make me feel. God doesn't want us to hide from him. He wants to be our best friend and someone we can open up to someone we share our heart with because he already knows it.
So today whatever you are feeling and whatever you are dealing with take it to God.Open up and speak to him as if he is setting right beside you.And most important don't go through the motions "Keep it real"
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