Do life's bruises follow you??

Today Im writing about something that has been on my mind and that I have talked to others about." Do the life's bruises follow you in life?" Bruises and trauma in life can come in many different ways. It maybe a divorce,abuse,finding out you were adopted and many other areas. Just lately when trying to start my life over have a realized just how bruised I am from my marriage and divorce. I started to see this when it caused issues in my life today. It may seem simple and crazy to many,but it happens.Have you ever had such a desire to be loved? Oh I know we all have because this is how God made.I am talking about the simple acts to show love.Coffee in bed, holding your hand when you step up stairs,opening your door,Ironed your clothes? These are very simple things that only take a minute,but speak so loud. Who would ever think these things would be hard to except right? I have realized that bruising from your past can cause this to feel abnormal when it is really the normal..the way things should be. Showing love and care in the small ways can go very far and make a big impression.
Something else I have noticed that can cause problems is harsh words. When you have never been built up and spoken positive about it really causes damage.Hearing people cut you down and lie about you becomes so strong that you start to believe it.Proverbs tells us life and death are in the tongue."Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof" 
Yes when we speak to and about other we can bring them life or death. Do we even realize sometimes what we are doing? I really don't think when it is taking place we do,but sometimes people are just that mean. I think the question is how to over come this? How do we remove the pain and allow the good feeling to replace? I am still trying to do this,but I think God is the only way. Asking to to mend and fix the pain we have been through. Jesus is there to heal the broken and bruised.

Pleasing others...Acing your age....Living life

I was sitting outside this morning having coffee doing some thinking and wondering what I would Blog about. As I sat there I started to think about how since the age of 18 I had been married and soon after having babies. At that point in my life my world became all about being a wife and mommy.I never really realized until my divorce how I had lived to make everyone around me happy and put me on the back burner. I guess it comes from being a pleaser at heart. I thought pleasing others and making them happy would make me happy.
When I walked in from having my coffee I signed on FB and a friend had posted the photo above and it had me thinking for sure. I'll never forget when my husband walked out how lost I felt. I wasn't a wife anymore and all the kids had left home. I looked in the mirror one morning and didn't even know the woman I had become. I realized I had put my likes aside for everyone around me and I knew at that point I had to start to live again. Yea yea I know others look at me and say "She acts like a kid" maybe I do and what is wrong with that? There are so many things I desired and loved to do in life that I never did and why not now? I used to hear others say "Age is a number" "Your as old as you feel" I truly understand those words now.
I have always had a young heart and loved adventure...living life on the edge is what feeds me. So when I found this picture it reminded me that I gave my life for others and it is my turn to be happy!!! If my being happy and not always acting my age bothers you then don't watch me because that is just what I'm going to do.NO im not doing things crazy that would hurt my children because they will always be first,but I am me and love it!!!
So today if you have pushed that person God made you to be deep down please let him or her out...LIVE

The Cross Roads in life

Have you ever been going down the road of life and came to a
" Cross Roads" and pondered which way do I go? You stop and glance down each road and they all look right,but you know deep inside one has to be the right way...each road leads some where,but where?
I have to say in the past three years after my separation from my EX I have been at many "Cross Roads". So many times I just headed out  and had to turn around and come back after realizing I was headed in the wrong direction. I feel deep in my heart there has to be path for me...a path that as I stay on it leads me by beautiful pastures. I think I am coming up to a " Cross Roads" in my life again and im so afraid to pick. What if it is wrong? Will I be wasting time or is this finally the road that takes me where my hearts desire is? I know getting on this road will lead me away from people and things in my life that I have got comfortable with. 
So today I stand here at the "Cross Roads" what will I do? I think I will just stand here and look each way ....maybe I will sit down and ponder...It is kinda pretty from where I stand.

Looking back on the change

Today I updated a picture on my Facebook and decided to add one from the gym. As I sat and looked at the photo I seen a different woman. Not only in the past few months has the body started to change,but so much more.1)  I can have the courage to step out and do things I never would. 2) I can be a leader to others because of where I have been. 3) I have a drive and determination that has been buried for so long. You ask did this just happen over night? I promise you it has been a change that has taken place over the years. I think each and everything that I have gone through has made me a stronger woman. Where once I used to run from things, I now hit them head on. I'm reminded of a quote from the movie "Dirty Dancing" where Patrick says " No body puts baby in a corner" See I got tired of being shoved to the side,hurt and not appreciated. I got up and took my life back and you can do the same. All you have to do is make up your mind and take steps toward your goal. One day you will "Look back on the change"

Working out at 180 Fitness

God doesn't make MISTAKES

Have you ever found your self sitting there thinking...this had to be a mistake or was I a mistake? Im here to tell you today the answer is NO. There is a reason for everything that happens in our life. It is all up to us to what we will do with it. I know it isn't always easy and so many times the enemy comes to lie to us and beat us down and many times we fall under that lie.Today I feel lead to share a couple of areas of my life that I pray will help you that have had this feeling.

                                                                         New Living Translation (©2007)
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations." 

First let me start with my birth.
 I was born.
 April the 13th to two of the most loving parent's I could have ever ask for,BUT people do things out of ignorance. I was born the last child and BABY...oh yea im proud of that. All of my life as I was growing up when my dad would introduce his family these would be his words " This is my wife Freddie and our children Raymond,Debi and Richard" then he would get to me and say he gave us three before we had our little MISTAKE.This went on all my life and yes it was a big joke to him,but not to my little spirit. The words and power of our words are so important. When I got older and we traveled as a group and sang in churches the same thing would happen."this is my wife Freddie,my son-in-law,Brian and our little MISTAKE" . After many years of this and I have to admit some healing God showed me he doesn't make MISTAKES!!! He makes blessings and knew each of us before he formed us. So one night when we were in Alabama at a church the same thing happened,BUT at this point I took the microphone and said " Im not a MISTAKE I am a blessing because my God doesn't make mistakes" After this day my dads eyes were opened to words that had been spoken all my life and my eyes were open to the the fact that God picked me and sent me to the parents he wanted me to be raised by.

Now lets move forward to my marriage and divorce
. I meet and married my Ex husband when I was 18 and was married for 29 years before it ended. We had three beautiful children that I am so proud of,BUT when my husband left I didn't feel this way. Night after night and day after day I felt like why? what could I have changed? why did I give my life to this man? Was it a MISTAKE to marry him? Today I can give you this answer NO it wasn't a MISTAKE. God knew what would happen in my life,but he also knew that each step in my life would make me who I am today. 

Putting the two together
   The enemy would like nothing better than to keep you down and feeling you have no future. He will go back in your life when something happens and use anything he can!!! I know after Brian left and I felt so beat down I would start to hear the words  "This is our little MISTAKE" and then he would try and torture me with words like "If you would have done this different" " You can't even keep a man" "You have been married all your life and you will never make it" it went on and on day after day until the day I took a stand the same way I did when I took that microphone at church. Devil " My God doesn't make Mistakes"
So I say to you today if you are reading this and found your self in areas in your life that caused you to feel this way...You and anything you have endured in life WASN'T a MISTAKE.

Determination Or Excuses

Let me just say before I ever start this post it IS NOT about any one person. This post comes from a combination of things I have endured and watched others endure. 

I also should let you know this is a rant and if you decide to get angry im sorry.

I came in from the bike trail today and fixed something to eat and decided I need to soak in the tub..see my ankle was hurting some. After a warm bath I decided to write this blog. In the last few days it seems every where I look I see excuses of why people CAN'T do something. Growing up I remember my dad saying "Can't never could" and man was he correct. I was raised to be a fighter and determined ..some would call it hard headed. I love and try to be understanding, but I don't deal well when people always have a reason why something can't be accomplished. 

New Living Translation (©2007)The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

I just love this scripture and it was taught to me most of my life. Oh I assure you I have been at points in my life that I didn't speak life. I can only preach what I have been through. People look at me today that don't know my past and haven't watched my journey and say what gives her room to talk. Well I promise I have been there and done that and have the T-shirt!!!

I spoke in the beginning about my ankle hurting..how many of you know that the lady you see in the photos riding her bike,working out and loving life at one time had to be in a wheel chair? Yes you read right. The year before my husband left me I had my right ankle crushed,my toe on another foot cut off, a wreck and after bleeding for eleven weeks a hysterectomy. If anyone ever had a reason to give up it was me. Not only did all these tragic things happen,but I lost my mom and then the pain of the man I loved and devoted my life to was gone. Oh there was times I felt like I wouldn't make it. I had to dig down deep and grab every ounce of determination I could find. I would wake up in the mornings and choose to change my life..choose to live. Day by day and month by month I started to see ME" the bull dog" the one that grabs hold and doesn't let go. I also used the scripture and decided to speak life and not death. Oh yea many times I caught myself saying thing like I can't,but then stopped and changed it.

I just want every person out there to see that YOU CAN..it maybe weight,drugs,alcohol,death,divorce,pain in your body,but no matter what it is we are all equal and Gods promises and strength are for you too. He is no respecter of persons.

Today I ask you to see your self as the winner you are ..be determined and speak life .

The only way not to win is to never start

My family is my heart

Just sitting here this morning with a special little man in my bed drinking coffee and thinking...My family is my heart. Saturday I was going to keep three of my grandbabies so I called to get another one that is very special to me. Yea I know I maybe a sucker to take off on a day trip with four children,but they fill my heart.My family was my medication that helped me during my divorce. There were so many nights that I felt so alone and unloved,but having one of these sweet babies to stay with me was having pure unconditional love.I know that nothing can take the place of a mate and I trust that if Gods will one day I will share that with a great man,but until that time comes I will love my family.

I would like to say to you that are out there and are feeling pain find the sweet little things like time with your family to bring you love.

Four of my favorite people waiting on their train ride

Little man acting like a monkey

Having a Picnic in the park after our trip to the Zoo

My sweet grands about to ride the train..one isn't liking the noise

There is nothing like a date with a "Real Man"